I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize