Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
