help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
