Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
