i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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