so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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