I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
porn star boner night. come get it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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