The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
