She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize