chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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