Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
