haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
