God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
