We named our party play list daddy issues
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Who died my cat blue again?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
