You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
