my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
