I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
