Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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