How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
