We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
my poor anus
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
