There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
