Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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