apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
