i just wanna soil my oats bro
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
