I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
