Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
