Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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