i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
