the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
