Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
