she looked like the before picture.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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