just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
