I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
