youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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