Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
