I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
