We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
