Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
