we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
