Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
