I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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