If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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