Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
