he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
