Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
