Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
