Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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