you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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