i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
3pm strippers are depressing
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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