I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
