hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
