hell yes lets make some ravioli
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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