I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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