If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
