Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
