i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
