I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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